I had a client sit with me and he was letting me know what had been turning up in his life since our last session. Part of what he shared was a feeling of disconnection from his wife, kids, friends and family of origin and was describing to me all the ways in which they were annoying him. The stories were convincing to him and as he shared them I could see that his energy was rising, his voice was changing and he looked more and more scared and uncertain. Like many people, he was stuck in the view that ‘if only they would stop doing this or that’ , everything would be better and he could be connect again. (more…)
Have you ever noticed that the more attached you are to something needing to be a certain way, whether that be a thought you have about yourself, a point of view or a thing, 1. It gives you something that you feel the need to defend and 2. Gives something for other people to react against and either agree with if you are ‘lucky’ or disagree with which causes conflict.
So why set yourself up? When you are caught in the pendulum of attachment and resistance, you are effectively saying that you are not OK with or without whatever it is you are held on to or pushing away. Truth is, you are not defined by what you have or the role you think you need or by your intellect or anything outside of you. So perhaps the ‘tools’ you can use to break free from continually creating the anxiety, drama and conflict which comes from attachment are:
- Remember who you are and learn to accept that you are whole and perfect here and now with nothing missing or needing fixing by anything outside
- Let go of the need to defend your position, after all why would you need anyone to agree with you if you yourself are certain?
- Acknowledge that although there is one Truth, we all have many different ways of connecting and experiencing that for ourselves.
Our words are so important. Not so much the words themselves but the energy which they contain. We often are aware that there is a mis-match between what someone is saying to us and what you FEEL they are saying.
I once had a very wise person say to me, “the meaning of your communication is the response you get.” Wow, that blew me away! You mean even when I thought I was being really clear and well-meaning, I was actually communicating something else?! (more…)
When you learn to sit with yourself and be quiet, you can access a deeper, more wise aspect of yourself…your soul.
”Letting go” whether that is of a feeling, a situation, a person, money, takes primarily the choice to do so, helped by the knowledge that by “letting go”, you are not losing it but rather letting go of the tight hold and attachment you have on it to allow what is true to emerge.
I wanted to connect and share with you an insight I have had recently through my clients and also generally in my friendships and beyond. And that is that everyone seems to be waiting and hoping that soon there will be some space and time to just relax. That there will be time to stop and integrate what has been happening in their lives and things around them wont feel so hectic or rushed. I personally have felt it too, the relentless amount of ‘stuff’ that just keeps on coming to be dealt with or responded to and in double… (scrap that…quadruple time!)
It wasn’t until this week that my awareness came in and saw the pattern and could see what was really going on for myself and others around me. The truth is that IT WILL NEVER SLOW DOWN! There! its said. The unimaginable truth is out. We will not experience our lives getting simpler, nor will there be that utopian time and space that exists in our head where you will ‘catch up’ or ‘make sense’ or ‘get over’ anything. It is actually part of the problem to be habitually looking into the future for our salvation. The ‘when I… then I…’ syndrome is such a part of our way of looking at life and all it results in is a feeling of never getting there, never truly feeling satisfied and living life like a hamster on a wheel. Feel familiar?
So what is the real truth which is laying there to be embraced I hear you ask…(well some of you at least!) Well, first of all you must learn to accept that truth, that it will never slow down and drop the idea that your one or two week holiday will be enough to recharge you. In fact if you look at the findings of the Mayan calendar and how it describes the acceleration in consciousness which is occurring moment by moment to us all, it is only going to feel more challenging as we move forward into 2012.
Secondly, get present to what you are feeling! Understand that the reason why we fill our lives up with so much stuff is to avoid feelings, more especially to numb the uncomfortable ones but what we don’t realise that we cant selectively numb our feelings. When we numb one, we numb them all. So when we numb sadness, we also numb the ability to feel happy. Do whatever you can to learn about truth and who you really are. Commit to that and learn to drop into a place in you that is always aware, calm and able to deal with anything life has to offer. Do whatever it takes to shed limited ideas and stories and beliefs about yourself as you simply wont have the time and space for them if you choose to be connected to the longing to expand and evolve.
Thirdly, know that you will not need to be doing it alone and that you will require unconditional love and support as you learn new ways of being in life. And remember, shedding or letting go of anything can be challenging in your head but your body always FEELS lighter and it leaves room for something fresh.
