Build a foundation laid with dreams. The fools in life want things fast and easy — attention, fame, money, success.Boredom is their great enemy. And FEAR. And whatever they manage to get slips through their hands like a slippery fish, because they never really had it.
You, on the other hand, want to outlast your rivals. You awant to build the foundation for something that will continue to grow and expand.
To make this happen you’ll need to serve a sort of apprenticeship. Learn early on to endure the hours of practice and drudgery, knowing that in the end you will reach the ultimate skill level, and that all of your time and effort will translate into a higher pleasure = you get to be the master of your craft, as well as of your self.
You can’t ‘do’ vulnerability, you must ‘be’ vulnerable. I find that with myself and with my clients, that often means some re-framing around what vulnerability really means. If you are making it mean, fearful,open to attack, blame, guilt,fragile, then why on earth would anyone want to be that?! When I came to realise that being vulnerable was actually about TRUST, it changed everything. It meant that when I was being vulnerable, I knew that it meant that I was truly trusting myself to really show up in the room. That’s where transformation occurs, at that point of surrender and letting go and TRUSTING that I had my own back and didn’t require another to do that for me.
Transformation of our personal circumstances happens through our ability to feel. Our ability to feel our emotions and at the same time building our emotional resilience* is how we free ourselves from being at the mercy of whatever is going on around us. Even if it isn’t easy to name whatever emotion it is you have identified, you can still feel into it and it will have the same effect because this is not something which needs to be understood by our mind. While you practice this, emotions which you may find uncomfortable could come up, but understand that this is part of becoming resilient and remember, you can’t die from an emotion! There’s a famous expression, “you’ve got to feel it to heal it!”
*(your ability to be with whatever is so in that moment – versus resistant and defiantly pushing away or battening down the hatches in the hope that it will pass)
If you snooze… You lose! Well, strictly speaking you can’t lose but definitely by not being present you can miss out on the experience of love and connection with yourself and others around you. So, is it possible to be present alllllll the time? In my experience, so far no, I’m human and thinking and getting into my head comes with the gig but it certainly alerts me to the importance of becoming present moment by moment.
Sometimes we can think we are being clear… (more…)
Have you ever noticed that the more attached you are to something needing to be a certain way, whether that be a thought you have about yourself, a point of view or a thing, 1. It gives you something that you feel the need to defend and 2. Gives something for other people to react against and either agree with if you are ‘lucky’ or disagree with which causes conflict.
So why set yourself up? When you are caught in the pendulum of attachment and resistance, you are effectively saying that you are not OK with or without whatever it is you are held on to or pushing away. Truth is, you are not defined by what you have or the role you think you need or by your intellect or anything outside of you. So perhaps the ‘tools’ you can use to break free from continually creating the anxiety, drama and conflict which comes from attachment are:
- Remember who you are and learn to accept that you are whole and perfect here and now with nothing missing or needing fixing by anything outside
- Let go of the need to defend your position, after all why would you need anyone to agree with you if you yourself are certain?
- Acknowledge that although there is one Truth, we all have many different ways of connecting and experiencing that for ourselves.
Our words are so important. Not so much the words themselves but the energy which they contain. We often are aware that there is a mis-match between what someone is saying to us and what you FEEL they are saying.
I once had a very wise person say to me, “the meaning of your communication is the response you get.” Wow, that blew me away! You mean even when I thought I was being really clear and well-meaning, I was actually communicating something else?! (more…)
