I had a client sit with me and he was letting me know what had been turning up in his life since our last session. Part of what he shared was a feeling of disconnection from his wife, kids, friends and family of origin and was describing to me all the ways in which they were annoying him. The stories were convincing to him and as he shared them I could see that his energy was rising, his voice was changing and he looked more and more scared and uncertain. Like many people, he was stuck in the view that ‘if only they would stop doing this or that’ , everything would be better and he could be connect again. (more…)
Have you ever noticed that the more attached you are to something needing to be a certain way, whether that be a thought you have about yourself, a point of view or a thing, 1. It gives you something that you feel the need to defend and 2. Gives something for other people to react against and either agree with if you are ‘lucky’ or disagree with which causes conflict.
So why set yourself up? When you are caught in the pendulum of attachment and resistance, you are effectively saying that you are not OK with or without whatever it is you are held on to or pushing away. Truth is, you are not defined by what you have or the role you think you need or by your intellect or anything outside of you. So perhaps the ‘tools’ you can use to break free from continually creating the anxiety, drama and conflict which comes from attachment are:
- Remember who you are and learn to accept that you are whole and perfect here and now with nothing missing or needing fixing by anything outside
- Let go of the need to defend your position, after all why would you need anyone to agree with you if you yourself are certain?
- Acknowledge that although there is one Truth, we all have many different ways of connecting and experiencing that for ourselves.
Our words are so important. Not so much the words themselves but the energy which they contain. We often are aware that there is a mis-match between what someone is saying to us and what you FEEL they are saying.
I once had a very wise person say to me, “the meaning of your communication is the response you get.” Wow, that blew me away! You mean even when I thought I was being really clear and well-meaning, I was actually communicating something else?! (more…)
BE with it, don’t agree with it. Your circumstances are as a result of what you were thinking and choosing before, both consciously but mostly unconsciously. Don’t make an enemy of what you have going on in your life as if it is something happening to you and as if you didn’t manifest it. Acceptance of it does not mean you have to like it AND if you use the energy expended in fighting that to instead get practiced at being present and out of your head, you will be manifesting a life you’ll prefer.
Who we are is perfect.
What we do can sometimes be dubious…
We are not what we do.
Awareness and choice are the tools that free you from the limitation of the ego.
