I work with people to re-calibrate their measure of success from what’s happening externally to what’s happening within.
I find that a lot of people who are drawn to work with me are by usual measurements in society, pretty successful. They have had successful lives in business and in relationships and life generally. However they still have a feeling of unease or dissatisfaction within no matter what they strive for and achieve on the outside.
For me, ROI is always going to be context driven. What I mean by that is that it very much depends on which view you come from. The owner/CEO of the business, the senior management team, the people at the coal face. Are you measuring financial return, skills return, inter-personal relationships, or happiness and satisfaction? I understand very well that in the world of business there is a great deal of pressure in looking for profit at any cost but I am witnessing a growing number of leaders in business moving away from relying only on fact and figures as a measure and instead are looking for how an outcome makes them and their team feel. I’m not talking about the light and fluffy feel good factor here but rather a deeper sense where you ‘just know’ that your time and money and focus has been well spent. Notice that I said not ‘relying only’ on facts and figures, which doesn’t mean ignoring them. A conscious and courageous leader learns how to walk the very thin line between both the rational AND intuitive so they don’t throw the baby out with the bath water.
My interpretation of a courageous leader is someone who is willing to view the world from a whole new viewpoint and not about trying to come up with solutions through managing or improving situations from inside the structure which created them.
How many fabulous time-management courses and techniques have we tried and behavioural change programs have we attended where the effect is temporary and still the demand on us remains. I’ve often heard, ‘Oh yes, that ‘effective diary management’ technique is awesome! If only I had the time to implement it!”
When I find myself in a place where I feel like I’m needing to juggle time and energy, I bring myself back to one of the most powerful truths I know and that is I AM ALWAYS AT CHOICE.
Its very easy to lose myself in the busy-ness and drama of overwhelm and over-commitment and in that experience, forget that truth. In the moment I have forgotten that whatever is turning up, all the urgencies and “must do’s”, I have chosen. That truth can be a hard one to swallow, especially if it appears that someone else is pressuring me or if its something that I don’t feel like I have chosen and yet, I still remind myself of that truth.
It can feel like everything is important and needs my attention right now but I have learned that if I sit back, take a breath and get off the hamster wheel in my mind (yes sometimes a big effort to do, especially when you may have many people pressuring you!) and remind myself that before I came into the world, it worked well without me and after I leave this world it will work well without me, the avenue of other options open up.
By getting present in this way and getting out of my self aggrandizement, the path clears, my energy replenishes and the most effective action step becomes obvious. Its like my natural intelligence comes into play and I know what’s the most important step. Then I notice that much of the urgent ‘stuff’ gets taken care of and the worst case scenarios that my head comes up with, don’t occur or get resolved by others stepping up and taking responsibility.
And with this being viewed through the context of Courageous Leadership it takes just that, COURAGE and a willingness to do something differently and role model to others that sometimes the most powerful thing to do is do nothing, step out of the reactiveness of the moment, until you are present and choose with a clear mind.
The journey inward is one that requires courage and vulnerability and certainly in the context of a leadership space, is an essential one. When you make the shift from viewing the world from a separate, ‘you and me as individuals’ perspective and see you and your team or communities as an integrated whole, you realise the absolute necessity of understanding yourself.
You see that by knowing what runs inside you and determines how you show up (or don’t!) in your life, you have the key to seeing why you experience what you do on the outside. “As within, so without” which in simple terms means whatever you are thinking about both consciously and subconsciously will be brought about into your reality.
The courageousness and inevitable feelings of vulnerability are key components of this journey and in fact if they are absent, I invite you to to look at whether what end result you are going for is really all that important to you. An authentic leader learns not to avoid vulnerability and actually learns to actively work on ‘the edge’ in a comfortably uncomfortable place, knowing that’s where ‘the juice’ lies, where evolution occurs rather than stagnation.
A popular talk by Ms Brene Brown at TED.com shows the power found in true vulnerabilty around understanding yourself and is well worth viewing.
Through my experience in choosing this style of leadership, I have found that my authentic style, unique to me, naturally emerges and shines through. The requirement to measure myself against others and compare my way of leading loses relevance. The urgent need to prove that I’m anything other than I am disappears and I turn up making decisions and choices that have clarity and certainty.
When I was invited to share my feeling on this months newsletter topic of Leadership and Conflict, I was tempted to keep it very simple and to the point and that was to say the answer to staying in your leadership when experiencing conflict, is to be present. It is the simple answer and the only way in which you can be powerful in your leadership and stay true to yourself and at the same time support and guide others to evolve and grow in their own personal leadership.
When I view the business world and in particular the leaders of business I find that , like in life generally, people allow themselves to be led by their emotions. Now for most, that’s not particularly revelatory or indeed rocket science but what it means when it comes to leading constructively in tough times is that a courageous leader would be equipped with the ability to be emotionally resilient. (Note RESILIENT not RESISTANT). Which means that they would be able to fully experience the emotions moving through them that are sparked by what is going on around them but are plugged into a deeper, more grounded and still place inside which is un-shakeable. There’s a recognition that there is no point in avoiding the natural death and resurrection cycle of life within business and by being meta to the surface reality of what is going on, it gives you a leadership edge.