It just occurred to me again just how limiting it is to give advice. Not only is it coming from your past experiences (*note YOURS and IN THE PAST! Lol), making yourself feel important, but it is unconsciously preventing the other person from delving deep into their own core to find their own truth. Stop it! ; )
If anything, asking questions helps to support that person on their path of self-realization. X
After a recent session with a client I was moved to ponder more deeply on the question; Why do we fill up our time with busyness? It’s because it makes us feel (or not feel) something… more of something- more important, valuable, powerful, needed, secure. Or indeed avoiding by feeling less of something- angry, sad, disappointed, not good enough.
This is why so often we feel like a hamster on a wheel, doing things on autopilot without being connected to our truth. There’s so much burnout from over commitment and therefore feelings of overwhelm take over. Two of the most common experiences I hear people complain of when I’m supporting clients in their self-realisation process are anxiety and depression, both of which are states caused by being in our heads, over-and projecting into the future or the past. At the extreme end of this pendulum this habitual over-thinking is often diagnosed as manic depressiveness and Bi-polar disorder. (more…)
If you are not experiencing something you think you want in your life, a new job, new relationship, more money, simply put, its because you don’t have the space for it. Instead of trying hundreds of ways of making that thing come, put your focus on clearing space. This is something I have dedicated the past year to and continue to be present with which has meant spending much time alone and unplugged from the madding crowd. This of course means challenging the very strong parts of ego that are reliant on people’s approval, wanting to belong, the fear of missing out or being overlooked. But in the space, the space in between the thoughts and the emotions that arise lies peace and joy. A happiness that is not needy or dependent upon circumstances and stuff to be experienced. Stepping off, unplugging if you will, from the ‘way things are or should be” and feeling into spaciousness below the level of the noisy chatter monkey brain. Here is where I find who I really am and where I find what I truly want. This is where I find contentment with whatever turns up in the craziness of day to day life and a deep knowing that Iam OK and everything in my world is perfectly orchestrated and in perfect order.
This is what CoreTruth is about for those who feel that yearning inside to have this experience.
“peace. it does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. it means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart” unknown
For me, the success of building a High Performance team comes not solely from the more conventional ways of skills and behavioural training but more profoundly from the willingness for each individual to take 100% personal responsibility not only for themselves but for the whole team.
This is a Courageous way of turning up in the world because what it really means is that if there is a lack of performance in the team, it is highlighting a situation for each person to own rather than only the people directly with whom the issue shows up for. When we see an issue arise in a team where we are not getting what we really want, say a team member who is always dragging their heels or not meeting their promised deadlines, instead of having the attitude of, ‘ well that’s their problem, not mine’ a Courageous Leader would take a moment to look closely at what is occurring inside them to see in what way they are contributing to that dynamic.
Now, this is not initially an easy thing to do and perhaps why Courageously led high performance teams are not yet the norm because it just doesn’t make sense to our rational mind to accept that we have any effect over another person. We are unaware of how unconsciously we are effecting our experience and the people in it, all the time through how we are Being not just what we are Doing or saying. The communication within a team is 90% of the time non-verbal! That sounds crazy to our heads and that’s because we live in a world which places so much power in intellect and words without acknowledging the whole energetic communication piece. This is what is only just starting to be addressed in major corporate business environments when they talk of EQ or emotional intelligence.
Simply put, when each member of a team has a commitment to having a firm understanding of who they are, are practicing being mindful and present in the moment, are taking responsibility for not only how they show up but also for how the whole team shows up, that’s how a high performance team works in the new paradigm.
Collaboration sounds like such a lovely word and we talk a lot of how important it is to collaborate but when it comes down to it, how can there be true collaboration when there are individual agendas driving what is meant to be a team? And what’s more amusing is that most of those agendas are unconscious ones which come from inside each person.
Currently collaboration means something like ” I will listen to what you have to say and look like I will compromise on what feels right according to me in my framing of the world, so long as you ultimately see that MY way is the best way!”
How about choosing it to mean something more like this: “I commit to me turning up the best version of me in relationship to you and choosing to communicate my truth about what I feel and think about whatever it is we are aiming for and not withholding that or mind reading what I imagine you are thinking and feeling!”
This would foster a natural feeling of collaboration through authentic communication. Each person would be much more mindful of what they really meant and would listen for what someone was really saying and encourage (instill courage!) each member to fearlessly go for their whole truth. Now that would be a way of having a high performance team!
Teachers open the door, but you must enter by yourself.
Since last November I have been learning and experiencing the impact of what I eat and drink on my ability to be present and focused. A major part of what I have been experimenting with and more importantly enjoying immensely is my commitment to eating organic fruit and vegetables wherever possible.
To set some context for you, when I started this eating approach, I was someone who LOVED his food. I was of the belief that if I wanted something, I would have it with little awareness to what it was, the quality of it or where and how it was grown. I had good enough health for a 39 year old apart from a higher (conventional) cholesterol reading than the ‘normal’ range and an irritated bowel occasionally. I hadn’t eaten red meat or pork since I was 11 years old but did eat a lot of chicken and some fish and I had a more than enthusiastic taste for desert!! I wasn’t just a sweet tooth, but a savoury tooth also and due to long held habits, I would eat at uneven intervals through the day and often would overeat in a sitting due to missing meals. (more…)