One of the biggest challenges I see and have experienced on a path of self-realisation is the immense effort that goes into staying open-hearted (and minded) when the pressure of your circumstances in your story is on. Whether that pressure appears to be coming from your relationships, your business, your finances or something else, the pressure comes from the judgmental thoughts and ideas you have about what is or isn’t happening. It is only when you reflect on the past or project into the imagined future (based upon the past) that the problem arises. In effect you literally flavour the challenges with the past and with what you have deemed positive or negative.

Your thoughts have no hold on you when you are in the here and now. When you make it your practice to be present, you allow yourself to be still internally where you are able to come from a certain, no-doubt space. Your actions will come from a deep and grounded place within rather than a headspace of stress and reaction. This is true leadership and you will find that the people around you will be attracted to that in you.

So what can you do to stay open-hearted and minded under pressure?

One great way is to be conscious of who you spend your time with. You don’t have to do it alone but are you the type of person who shares everything about your challenges with anyone who will listen and open yourself up for advice? ( which you don’t really need nor ultimately listen to or heed anyway!) This habit opens you up to other people’s thinking which, if you hadn’t noticed already just makes things more cloudy and complicated and pollutes your space. Sometimes it is great to have a sounding board, a ‘get it off your chest’ session to allow yourself to let the emotions move through you can be very useful so long as the person you do it with knows how to hold space. By holding space I mean that they are present with you but do not go into resolve your situation, they don’t judge whatever it is that you are going through no matter how painful it may appear. They are aware and know that their presence is enough. This is where an excellent coach or facilitator comes in. I find these people to be very rare but well worth having if you can find one.

Another way is to remind yourself of a couple of points:

You would never put yourself in a position that you cannot handle. Yes things can appear very crazy and out of control and bring up a lot of fearful emotions but it’s impossible that you don’t have your own back. The secret is to practice dropping out of your head to listen to what it is you already know and be prepared to follow through on that. Build a practice of this!
If you look historically in your life, the times where you have felt most expanded and empowered has always been preceded by a really tough time. The old adage, “the darkest moment comes just before the dawn’ makes a lot of sense here. When you are going through challenges times, it is there to support you to know yourself and your capacity to a greater degree- or else it simply wouldn’t be happening. Stop having amnesia about this!
Make it a practice of placing your attention on the one thing which is in front of you at a time. Our energy and attention scatters and our anxiety and stress levels blow out the moment we try to fix, change and improve everything all at once. When you get more practiced at becoming present and dropping out of your headspace, you will find the power that lies in giving your full attention to whatever is in front of you. You will feel sharper and more focused overall and will find that you achieve more by doing less.Remember one thing at a time!

If this blog sparks something inside for you, please feel free to email me privately at or head over to my website for more.